love buzz
my friend rocketbride and i were in my kitchen, in the apartment i shared with my mom in suburbia making a cake for a friends' birthday when we heard that kurt cobain's body was found in seattle. self inflicted gunshot wound. we stared at eachother open-mouthed. shocked. we ran to my phone and started making calls; everyone had already heard. no one could believe it.
i am not going to write about how i took it dramatically, carved "kurt" in my arm, wrote my own sorrowful teen-angst lyrics about how wrong it was for us to have lost such a creative genius so early. i remember being shocked, but most of all i remember being angry.
i was angry with the selfishness of the act. i asked myself and countless others rhetorically, "how could he do this? how could he kill himself? why would he do it? why not seek help? how could he leave his beautiful daughter in the hands of that unstable woman? how? how? how could he be so selfish??"
but i think when i look back on it now, i was the one being selfish.
i really was asking "how could there be no more? no more molly's lips? no more negative creep, scentless aprentice, or penny royal tea? no more fucking in bloom??? no more POLLY??? no more frances farmer?????"
...
why?
