2003-07-16 - 10:35 p.m.

DIE FLY! DIE!

i have found the cure for fruit flies ... after going on "Ask Jeeves" and reading testimonials from other fruit fly sufferers, i had read that spraying them with rubbing alcohol can kill them ...

so tonight corona and i went around the apartment with a little spray bottle loaded with alcohol, squirting the little fuckers and watching them drop right out of the air. it was intensely satisfying, i must tell you. my apartment smells like a tattoo parlour, but the air is mostly free of the little bastards, for which i am truly excited.

...meanwhile...

my mom brought over this painting for me that used to hang in the living room of our apartment, WAAAAAAY back in the time of the dinosaurs when my mother and father were still together, and they had a red couch, an orange carpet, and a turquoise dining room set. [ not to mention a giant, wood-carved fork and spoon hanging on the wall ] the painting is kind of ugly ... or at least i thought while growing up ... tacky and slightly depressing, but after painting and decorating my apartment, i realized that this painting would be right at home, so i asked her for it and tonight she finally brought it over.

now i think it's the schweetest painting ever to make canvas.

my mom told me to tell people she got it at an "estate" sale, but she actually MURDERED someone for it!

for real!

well ...

... someone did have to die for her to get it, but the official investigation into the matter hasn't really concluded, so ... you know ... innocent until proven guilty ... blah blah blah ...

hahahh she'd murder me if she ever read this ...

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