tonight while walking my dog, spike and i saw an s.u.v. turning the corner around my building screech to a halt, then move about ten feet, then screech to a halt again, only to have the passenger door thrown open in front of us. the driver of the car was yelling "get out! get out! you're disgusting!!!" while a woman was being thrown from the car ...! she was grunting and screaming and the guy was physically pushing her out while the car was still turning the corner. she finally stumbled down onto the sidewalk, but before taking off down the street, she managed to stick her head back into the s.u.v. and spit on the driver.

welcome to parkdale, baby ... yaaah!

...

i didn't have a working television when i moved into my new place, and after a few nights of listening to 102.1 (which is a local toronto radio station that i swear is trying personally drive me crazy by playing "like a stone" by audioslave and "can't stop" by the red hot chili peppers at least once an hour each every frickEN day) i decided that as broke as I was, it was time to find myself a television.

[[ yes. that's right. I have no attention span and feel the need television in my life. i come from the ADD generation and ritalin is expensive so YAH ... I NEEDED A TEE VEE ... um ... yah ...
<⁄end rant> ]]

where was I ...?

oooooooooooh yah ... so I was walking down queen west and found a shop with heaps of televisions broadcasting outside. i decided to stick my head in [ hey ... it had the word "DELUXE" in the name, so it HAD to be good, right ...? ] and they've got this cute little 14" thingie on sale for like $40 bucks and when i walked up to the guy and said "i'll give you cash for it right now" he was like "I'll throw in a pair of rabbit ears and a remote for five bucks" and I said "SOLD"!

for some reason ... though ... it's not working.

[ didn't see this coming, did you ...? yah. shaddup. ]

for some reason, while you're watching, the little digital 'channel' readout will lose it's vertical ... um ... ?bars? and the reception will go out.

but

i discovered that if you give it a really good smack .... it'll come back.

why is this a universal fix ...? don't you think it's weird that in the case of old televisions that some times the best medicine is a good spanking ...? It works almost every time ... and it's not just me who does it ... people have been smacking the picture back into their televisions for decades, and it's constantly prooved to be an effective and temporary solution. it's so funny, because we *never* think to do this with any other of our mechanical or electirical devices. people don't smack their stoves when their elements aren't heating up, or belt their dvd players if their movies skip, but if your t.v.'s on the fritz, and all else fails, a good whack can always prove helpful. It's as universal a solution as blowing on the inside of the old-school NES cartridges if you get the "blue screen" when you initially put them in.

oh