2003-09-09 - 3:10 p.m.

bodily functions

all right ... I've just about had enough with boss#2 and his horking. i sit in a little office, which is really more like a closet, and it's right across from his, and he's had this cold since labour day weekend [ or before ...? jesus, that's a lot of horking ] and he just horks and horks and horks all day long. like we're not here. like we can't hear the

chhhhhhoooowwwwwkkkkkkkkK!!!!!

caccchhhH! cchchchchcooooooooowaaaarrrrkkkk!

as clear as day. i don't have a weak stomach, but i swear, i am going to vomit with rage if i have to listen to much more of this. i am learning more about these brothers than i ever intended to learn. boss#1 takes a big dump at around 10:30 every day. you can hear him turning the pages of marketing magazine in there, and the ffffft! of the aerosol deodorizing spray when he's done. when the door opens, and he comes out and goes into his office which is right beside mine, he trails with him the lovely scent of flowery poo.

i am thinking next time i'm on my rag i'm just going to leave a big fat box of tampons in the bathroom. i mean, i have to experience all of THEIR bodily functions, right ...? wouldn't it be only fair that they get a taste of mine ...?

eeeew.

i really don't mean that last part literally.

...

i can't sit and eat my lunch on the patio here anymore. as soon as i get settled in and lounge back and pop my book open, THEY come ... by "they" i mean a fucking ARMY of yellowjackets. usually i'm not bothered by yellowjackets. if you don't make too many sudden wacky moves, they'll leave you alone. i've never been stung by one. but these fuckers are relentless! perhaps it's because i am the only one out there, but they zip around my head, try to dive into my pop, land on my lunch. and they don't stop! i had to go inside today 'cause they were driving me crazy. on friday i had to RUN inside 'cause there was like four of them buzzing around me, and they started landing on me. i came inside and one of the fuckers actually followed me in ... i had to chase it around the office with my novel until i could kill it dead.

what the hell ...? i wonder if it's my perfume or hairspray or something ... i'm irresistible to hornets. fuck.

...

because of my lip it took me an hour to eat an ear of corn last night. i am thinking for tonight: soup.

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