did i ever mention that i have the worlds ugliest couch� ...? well, it's true. i am the not-so-proud owner of an uncomfortable monstrosity that is beyond monsterous.

how did i aquire this nasty beast ...? when i was moving into my new apartment i was couchless. i was moving at the same time a friend of mine, steve, who was moving from a three-storey house into a two-bedroom apartment. he mentioned to me that he was thinking of getting new couches. would i be interested in having his old one ...? damn right i would.

so i had in mind the couch that he had in his living room, which was pretty ugly, but ugly in a "wow grandma, that's an ugly -- yet comfortable -- couch you've got there" kind of way ... plus it was a pull out bed. bonus.

so i call up my mom and ask her if she and her boyfriend could come up with his truck and help me move it. i'm excited! i'm getting out on my own! i'm going to have a place to put my ass!

we get to steve's house, and instead of his grandma couch, he directs me to this pile of wood and cushions.

"what's this?" i ask

"it's your couch."

never being one to look a gift couch in the ... um .. cushion ... [ lame ] i gather up the pieces of couch. big fat chunky carved wood arms. a flimsy back. a flimsy bottom. the whole thing is pretty much a cheese ass futon that doesn't fold out, with six nasty cushions. it's ugly, but i tell myself "it's all i've got".

well, yesterday i decided that i'd had enough. i was surfing around on some local "major furniture outlet" store websites, and saw a pretty decent futon for a reasonable price. it's basic black and it'll pretty much be a full-time couch, but it will be great for when people come to stay over. i put it on my card [ i'm a slut for credit ] so now the worlds ugliest couch is currently seeing its last days.

but what to do with it ...? i was thinking that i could just haul it out to the curb in pieces and maybe some poor desperate couchless soul would pick it up and give it a good home. then in a stroke of inspiration, i decided to post an ad on craigslist, and see what would happen.

check it out

i am hope hope hoping that i get some really interesting responses. of COURSE i will keep you posted.

in the meantime, here's a little photo gallery of THE WORLDS UGLIEST COUCH� to tide you over.

okay, here it is in all it's glory. mostly, i am ashamed to own it. on the other hand, there is some kind of pride associated with having a couch that is completely and definitely uglier and more uncomfortable than everyone elses.

look at the fine machine crafted nasty wood arms. have you ever seen such crapulescence in your entire life? i think not.

here's a closeup of the fabric on the cushions. just imagine the burlappy-goodness of it, and the lovely pattern it would leave on any flesh pressed against it. it astounds me that someone actually designed this with "style over comfort" in mind.

okay. i am not a complete sadist. i don't expose my friends and family to those nasty cushions. that would just be mean.